We Delay Marriage More Than Ever
As many millennials are graduating saddled with mountains of debt, one thing that is also rising is the average age of marriage. Regardless of income bracket, people delay marriage more than ever.
The average age of first marriage has risen to 27 and 29 for women and men, respectively from early 20s back in the 1960s.
And with good reason.
Some young people are cashing in on the lowered stigma on pre-marital cohabitation. Others are the children of divorcees and quite hesitant to jump into something that could end badly. In addition, studies are showing that delaying marriage has tremendous economic benefits for women.
The Rent’s Too Damn High
But of all of the reasons to delay marriage perhaps the most unfortunate and potentially avoidable is that couples just can’t afford it. Studies on the average cost of a wedding are quite mixed, but all seem to be reporting astronomical costs for a one day shindig.
If TheKnot, Say Yes To The Dress and Bridezillas are to be believed, weddings cost in the tens of thousands of dollars and that’s the norm. For an unemployed or underemployed millennial just out of grad school, that’s something they can’t fathom.
Many millennials would be wise to say “I Don’t.”
But how believable are these wedding cost numbers? Are there things that you can do now, before you’re even thinking about your bridal party and decide on color schemes? How can you save big in the long term?
What Does A Wedding Really Cost?
Every spring the internet is all atwitter about the latest report on the “average” cost of a wedding in the United States. The annual survey published by TheKnot.com is one of the largest averaging 20,000 respondents. For 2014, TheKnot reported that the average cost of a wedding was $31,213.
But not so fast.
First, we have to go back to high school math. Recall that there are three kinds of average: mean, mode, median.
All of these studies focus on the mean. They add up all of the reported amounts and then divide that number by the number of responses. But it isn’t guaranteed that only half of all respondents spend less than the mean. If there is a small number of brides spending in the hundreds of thousands, they could significantly skew the results.
In fact, it appears that the median is more like $18,000 — over $10,000 less than companies like TheKnot have been reporting. And a sizable majority spend less than $10,000 on their wedding.
The reality is that these companies have a vested interest in convincing you that spending more is better. Don’t be duped by marketing hype. But also don’t be in denial. Even if you elope, getting married isn’t free.
Have Your Wedding Cake and Eat It Too
Probably the single most important thing you can do when it comes to setting yourself up to win against the wedding industrial complex is to think ahead.
Think about what a wedding really costs. Be honest with yourself. Decide whether a fancy wedding is a priority for you.
If it is, think about how you’re going to pay for it. Will your parents chip in?
Start setting money aside now.
If a big, beautiful wedding is truly your dream, you should decide in advance what else you’re willing to forego and set yourself up to win. Use the average age of marriage and your current age to come up with a number you’re comfortable setting aside each month toward your dream.
Then put that money in an account and leave it there. Whether you choose to put it into a regular savings account or an investment account is up to you will depend on your time horizon.
Either way, just like saving for retirement, the earlier you do this, the more flexibility you will have when the time comes. If you choose to delay marriage, be sure to be smart about it and save up.
No one’s saying you can’t have the wedding of your dreams. We’re just saying that there are ways that you can be smart about it to come out on top.